☻
GET HIRED
Buy 401K. Your first buy mints an on-chain Employee ID Badge. Kenny begins laminating immediately.
NOT A REAL RETIREMENT PLAN ★ A FAKE RETIREMENT PLAN WITH REAL PAYROLL ★ REWARDS DEPEND ON VOLUME AND MAY BE ZERO ★ YOUR KNEES MAY VARY ★
NOW HIRING · KENNY'S BENEFITS DEPARTMENT · ARC 5042
THE 401K
FOR YOU.
A fake retirement plan with a real payroll. Buy to get hired. Hold to clock in. Every 30 minutes, Kenny pushes USDC straight to qualifying employees. Sell everything and HR issues your Pink Slip.
OFFICIAL CONTRACT0xe60E2Bcd092b78092A4a4010DE1ccAadf5C03CCaBLOCKSCOUT ↗
KENNY, DIRECTOR OF BENEFITS, PAYROLL & LAMINATION*not licensed to discuss your future
HR HAS TO LAMINATE YOUR BADGE SOMEHOW.
BUY. HOLD. GET PAID. PROBABLY.
”FORM 401-KINDA · REVISION FINAL_FINAL
THE PLAN DOCUMENT
Kenny cannot change it. The form does not exist.◷
CLOCK IN
Hold at least 100,000 tokens, or 0.01% of supply, to qualify for the payroll ledger. No staking.
$
GET PAID
Every 30 minutes, anyone can run payroll. USDC goes directly to qualifying wallets. No connect button required.
EMPLOYMENT PHASETAXWHERE THE FORM SENDS ITLIMIT
NEW-HIRE ORIENTATION
FIRST 5 MINUTES25%12% auto-liquidity + burned LP
8% launch costs
5% payroll2% max wallet
remains for first 24 hours
FIRST 5 MINUTES25%12% auto-liquidity + burned LP
8% launch costs
5% payroll2% max wallet
remains for first 24 hours
STANDARD EMPLOYMENT
AUTOMATIC & FOREVER5%100% to holder payroll2% until hour 24
then automatically removed
AUTOMATIC & FOREVER5%100% to holder payroll2% until hour 24
then automatically removed
ORIENTATION ENDS BY CONTRACT TIMESTAMP. THERE IS NO FEE-CHANGE FUNCTION, NO ADMIN LEVER, AND NO FORM KENNY CAN MISPLACE. THE 2% MAX WALLET AUTOMATICALLY CLOCKS OUT 24 HOURS AFTER TRADING OPENS.
KENNY'S PAYROLL LEDGER
THE MACHINE CLOCKS IN
Anyone can run payroll. Kenny is accepting volunteers.Payroll opens after launch
FORM W-ALL-E-T · READ ONLY
CHECK MY PAY STUB
401K HELD0
PENDING USDC$0.00
EMPLOYMENT—
KENNY'S HR FILEON-CHAIN PAPERWORK
- 1Paste your public Arc wallet
- 2Press LOOK UP. No connection needed
- 3Your actual on-chain paperwork appears here
Paste any public wallet. The artwork loads from Arc without connecting, signing, approving, or speaking to Kenny.
NO CONNECTION. NO SIGNATURE. NO APPROVAL. NO SEED PHRASE. This form only reads public Arc data and decodes the artwork in your browser.
KENNY NEEDS HELP.
The contract does not wake itself. When payday arrives, anyone can call runPayroll(). The recipients and math cannot be redirected by whoever presses the button.
claim(). A keeper can use claimFor(address) to process a quitter's final paycheck.HR ANNOUNCEMENTS · ON-CHAIN
KENNYWelcome aboard. Your badge is being laminated.PENDING
KENNYResignation processed. The desk plant is yours to keep.PENDING
Launch-wallet ownership is still active
REWARDS ARE VARIABLE, MAY BE ZERO, AND DEPEND ENTIRELY ON TRADING VOLUME. NOT A REAL RETIREMENT PLAN.
HR PAPERWORK · 100% ON-CHAIN SVG
SOUVENIRS FROM THE CUBICLE
Kenny forgives. Kenny remembers.K
- EMPLOYEE
- 0xYOU…
- DEPARTMENT
- HOLDING
- STATUS
- CLOCKED IN
REASON: PAPER HANDS
DESK PLANT: YOURS TO KEEP
RESIGNATION
PROCESSED
FULL EXIT · REHIRES MAY BE FIRED AGAINPROCESSED
The souvenir contract has zero authority over the token. If Kenny's laminator breaks, trading remains unaffected. VIEW HR CONTRACT ↗
KENNY SAYS
“Welcome aboard. Your badge is being laminated.”
“Resignation processed. The desk plant is yours to keep.”
“Anyone can run payroll. Please. Anyone.”
TRUST, BUT OPEN THE EXPLORER
NO ADMIN FORM EXISTS
The initial LP and every orientation auto-LP mint went directly to the dead address. 99.9999% of LP supply is burned.
VERIFY INITIAL BURN ↗The launch wallet still owns the contract. This badge changes only after the zero-address ownership transfer is mined.
The five-minute tax window, 24-hour max-wallet window and 30-minute payroll cadence live in source—not a dashboard toggle.
READ THE PLAN DOCUMENT ↗The USDC pair and Payroll Ledger are independently readable on Arc.
VIEW PAIR ↗ VIEW LEDGER ↗OPEN ENROLLMENT