Your wallet finally made payroll. A fake retirement plan with a real one: buy to get hired, hold to clock in, and every thirty minutes USDC is pushed straight to every qualifying employee. Kenny now takes the credit from a corner office.
Kenny Chairman of the Benefits Department Not licensed to discuss your future
Letter from the Chairman
To our valued employees, and to the people who quit.
When I started this department I had a folding chair and a broken piggy bank. Today I have a chair that reclines. The payroll machine has needed nothing from me since launch, the fee schedule cannot be edited, and I have been promoted for supervising a contract that does not need me. This is what leadership looks like.
Every trade pays 5% into the Payroll Ledger. Every thirty minutes anyone, employee or passer-by, may run payroll, and the ledger pushes USDC to every wallet holding at least 100,000 tokens. Nothing to stake. Nothing to claim. Nothing for me to approve, which suits me.
KennySigned, then renounced
Company history
The first legitimate reward token on Arc. Founded in a cubicle.
On 30 July 2026, weeks after Arc opened, a tired clerk named Kenny deployed his own contract instead of using a launchpad. No third party took a cut. Every trade fed a real USDC payroll to holders, every thirty minutes, and the pot has been waiting for someone to press the button ever since. Nobody on Arc had done it before.
30 July 2026
Trading opens on the Arc USDC pair. Orientation tax runs its five minutes and closes by timestamp.
Same day
Initial liquidity burned to the dead address. Every auto-liquidity mint since has followed it there.
Same day
Ownership renounced. No owner, no setters, no fee lever, no pause. The contract is finished and nobody can touch it.
31 July 2026
The 2% max wallet lifts on schedule, 24 hours after launch. The last training wheel comes off.
Today
As safe as a contract gets. Liquidity gone, keys gone, fees fixed at 5% to holders. Kenny got promoted for supervising it.
One chair wheel, one broken piggy bank, a tie he found. The original branding is preserved in the company archive. He earned the office.
Benefits Department noticeRef. KEYS-001
The Chairman has misplaced the keys to the old office, and with them the old X account. Correspondence now goes to @kennys401konarc.
Kenny's statement: "I once ran this firm from a three-wheel chair and an MS Paint desk. Losing an office is what we call upward mobility."
Payroll Distribution Statement, read live from Arc
The machine clocks in every thirty minutes.
Next payday in--:--
Next payroll--USDC for enrolled employees next run
Total paid--USDC pushed to wallets
Employees--Qualifying holders
Payroll runs--Completed on-chain
Current tax--100% to holder payroll
Connecting to Arc.
Left the payroll? Kenny mailed your last paycheck.
On 21 September 2026 the Chairman pushed $1,921.91 out to 483 wallets that had sold below 100,000 401K and never collected. No claim, no form, this one was on Kenny. Right now -- USDC sits in the ledger for former employees . It is always yours: come back over the threshold and the next run pays it, or wait for the next time Kenny feels generous.
Permissionless benefits administration
The contract does not wake itself. When payday arrives, anyone may press the button. Kenny accepts volunteers and does not say thank you. Some quarters are exceptionally quiet.
Whoever runs payroll cannot redirect the recipients or the math. Impatient employees may claim between paydays. A keeper hands leavers their final paycheck on the spot.
Permissionless. Costs gas only, a few cents. Works when the countdown reads zero.
Trading through Fomo?
Your Arc address is a Fomo wallet. Payroll lands there and Fomo sweeps it into your app cash balance within seconds, through Relay. You were paid, it is in the app. Hold 401K in a wallet you control and payroll stays on chain.
Terms of Employment, revision final
Three articles. No amendments possible.
Kenny reviews the fee schedule quarterly. He cannot change it. Nobody can. The form does not exist.
Article IGet hired
Buy 401K on the USDC pair. Your first purchase ever mints an on-chain Employee ID Badge. Lamination begins immediately.
Article IIClock in
Hold at least 100,000 tokens, one hundredth of a percent of supply, and you are on the payroll ledger. No staking. No forms.
Article IIIGet paid
Every thirty minutes anyone may run payroll. USDC lands in qualifying wallets directly. No connect button was harmed.
Employment phaseTaxWhere the form sends itStatus
New-hire orientationFirst five minutes after launch
25%12% auto-liquidity with LP burned, 8% launch costs, 5% payroll. 2% max wallet for the first 24 hours.Closed, 30 July 2026
Standard employmentAutomatic, forever
5%100% to holder payroll. No max wallet. No launch fund. No lever, no setter, no admin.In effect
Fixed supply1,000,000,000
Pair401K / native USDC
Initial liquidity$488 USDC, LP burned
Payroll cadenceEvery 30 minutes
Capital Contributions, the Liquidity Desk
Deepen the pool. Earn a title.
Employees who add liquidity to the 401K / USDC pool are recorded on this site as Liquidity Partners. The pool gets deeper, the trades get smoother, and the payroll pot keeps filling.
Pool depth, live from Arc-- USDC + -- 401KThe original LP tokens are burned. Yours will not be, unless you choose to.
Hold both sidesUSDC and 401K on Arc, in equal value. Type a USDC amount below and the desk quotes the matching 401K from the live reserves.
Approve the router onceTwo approvals, one for USDC and one for 401K, to the DYOR V2 router at 0x1f7d…2EfA. The button handles both and skips any you have already given.
Add liquidity, or add and burnThe router deposits both sides into the pair and mints LP tokens to your wallet, which earns the Liquidity Partner title on your pay stub. Tick the burn box and the LP is minted to the dead address instead: permanent, and the Founding Partner title on this desk.
The onboarding fee. A transfer into the pair is a taxed transfer, so about 5% of the 401K side goes to the payroll pot and a similar slice of your USDC ends up deepening the pool for everyone. Kenny considers this generous of you.
Do not add your entire 401K balance. Sending your last token to the pair counts as a full exit and HR will issue a Pink Slip. Keep at least a few tokens, and at least 100,000 to stay on payroll.
Or feed the Furnace. Send USDC, 401K or any stray token to the Furnace and anyone can turn it into burned liquidity with one press. No wallet gymnastics, no LP tokens, nothing comes back out.
Prefer the DEX? The same pool is on DYORSwap's liquidity page. Pick the 401K / USDC pair there. The title still applies: it reads your LP balance from the chain.
Provide liquidity from this pageWallet not connected
Liquidity PartnerRecorded on this site from your LP balance
Wallet set up before 16 September? Edit the Arc network in your wallet and set its RPC URL to https://rpc.mainnet.arc.io. The old Blockdaemon host now refuses everyone, and the wallet needs a working RPC to build the transaction.
This page never holds your keys. Every step is a transaction you approve in your own wallet, on Arc, chain 5042. The title is issued by this site from public chain data; the on-chain paperwork contract is renounced and unchanged.
How it all comes together
Trades pay the staff. The Furnace pays the pool.
Two machines, one loop. Every trade feeds payroll. Anything anyone throws in the Furnace becomes liquidity that can never leave. The pool gets deeper, the trades get smoother, the payroll gets bigger.
1TradeEvery buy or sell pays 5% into the payroll pot, in USDC.
2PaydayEvery 30 minutes anyone presses the button. USDC lands in every wallet holding 100,000+.
3Feed the FurnaceSend it anything: USDC, 401K, any token that trades on Arc. Your payroll, if you like.
4Liquidity, foreverAnyone presses stoke. It all becomes USDC and 401K, paired, and locked in the pool for good. Deeper pool, back to step 1.
Boiler Room, Sub-basement 2
The Furnace
Send anything to it. It becomes liquidity. Forever. Any token that trades on Arc gets sold for USDC and 401K, paired, and added to the pool for good. No owner, no withdraw, nobody can take it out. The Chairman looked for the button for forty minutes and went for coffee.
Contract 0x6847b006De2b16BcE6514Af46D73569d92f836de. Sending from a bot or exchange? Their withdrawals cannot reach a contract; the Furnace page explains Kenny's drawer.
Chairman's remarks
"I stopped chasing retirement. Now retirement reports to me."
Employee Records and Separation Instruments, on-chain SVG
Souvenirs from the corner office.
Both documents render entirely from chain data. The souvenir contract has zero authority over the token. Kenny forgives. Kenny remembers.
Kenny's 401K, Wealth & Benefits GroupNo. 000001
K
Employee ID BadgeEMPLOYEE 0xYOU / DEPARTMENT: HOLDING
